Patterns

I have tried to “just let things happen” for several weeks now.  The truth is I don’t like it.  To me, this means just that – let stuff happen – but this is a passive approach to life and retirement as far as I am concerned.  I personally like to set daily goals, big or small, creative or chore-ish, because that is how I gauge the value of my time.  To let things happens is to wait for things to happen.  I like to make things happen, and to be open to other people inviting me to join them in their happenings.  However, if I were to wait, and just wait, what would occur?  Dishes don’t get done by themselves, photographs aren’t taken, dinner isn’t served.  That is really just being non-existent.  It is being inactive.  It is, essentially, saying no to life and all that it has to offer.

All of us have things we need to do in life.  With the free time of retirement, it seems that I should get my chore list done.  If I did, though, that is all I would do.  That Puritan heritage inculcates duty and chores as the only things of value, not indolence and lazing or creating.  Thinking seems almost a sin – that means considering rebellion against societal norms and regulations.  That means rocking the boat, having an opinion – in short, living life and experiencing life.  As someone brought up to follow rules and regulations, it can be really difficult for me to let them go.  I do know that all rules and regulations are ways to help society function, to let me and others get along, to be more constructive than destructive.  I also know that breaking these restraints allows me to grow and expand, to re-think my world view (many times over the years) and reconsider life and myself in general.

Patterns provide structure and a framework in which we can explore the world, expand our world, and experience that which is unfamiliar with relative safety.  In a bad framework, such as in families where domestic abuse is the norm, these patterns maintain destructive and negative lifestyles.  This is what family systems teach us.  They also teach us that breaking family systems creates its own chaos, which can be positive or negative, good or bad, expanding or restrictive.  For me, breaking certain patterns is necessary for growth and enjoyment, but maintaining others is a form of prison.  Chaos is not something I enjoy, though I appreciate the unexpected.  Altogether, we each need to find the structures in our lives to live fully and deeply, as well as to give in to the unpredictable and spontaneous.

Making, Doing, Being

We take our everyday lives for granted, which is pretty much what we are used to on a daily basis.

Some people are always worried about where the next meal is going to come from – people who live in poverty or war-torn areas probably experience this far more than I can imagine.  If I skip a meal, no biggie – lots of stuff in the fridge or down at the market.  When a student tells you that in his former country, as a child, what he remembers most is always being hungry, it makes you think.  To live like this is beyond my imagination.

And what about people who go from being very active, to suddenly being limited on a physical level?  From walking to not walking?  To using both hands to using one?  The physicality of everyday life is not something most of us remark upon, unless it is suddenly gone!  A stroke?  A fall?  Some crazy American with a gun?  A nerve-wasting disease?  How do we handle this?

If you think about, everyday life is normal as long as it doesn’t change.  When it changes, how do we handle it?  What do we do?  Do we fall down and pity ourselves?  Do we get up and move forward with whatever is in front of us?  Certainly a level of self-pity and horror exist when something bad happens which changes our daily lives, but it also can lead to creativity and a philosophical or spiritual awakening.  How we choose to adapt – and the key word is adapt – often determines our outcome.  It may be minimal in the eyes of others, but it can be major within the person affected.

I really believe we need to look at our lives on a daily basis, to appreciate and be grateful for what we have, not focusing on what we don’t have.  If our lives can be better, how?  If we want to change things, what do we want to change?  This is not an ever-moving forward process.  Like the frog in the well, three feet forward, two feet back.  The road is bumpy and challenging.  At times the goal is obscured or lost, but movement continues.  We choose in many ways how to adapt to our lives, however horrific we may find them.

Those who adapt, survive, even if the survival is not to their liking.  Those who give up are also adapting, but probably not successfully.  What we want, too, changes.  We need to adapt to those changes.  We need to think about them, to consider them on multiple levels.

When we stop making, stop doing, we stop being.

Art & Life

In my more cynical moments, I am annoyed that I spend time sitting in front of a computer looking at pictures and playing with software.  Who will see them?  Does anyone care?  Even writing these words seems to be a bit of a waste of time.

Years ago, in my younger days, I aspired to be an artist.  The need to earn my keep held me back, but also fostered the question of what is the value of art?  Value implies something which can have a monetary amount attached to it, but on a deeper level it also means merit, worth, esteem and often ethics, principles, standards.  My conclusion was that if it had value to me, then it was art.  No more angst over it, and a very simple answer.

Still, life intervenes.  Things need to be done such as working, taking care of a house, paying bills.  People, too, need to be nurtured; friendships and family relationships are inherently important.  Physical, mental, and spiritual health need attention.  All of these take away from time “doing” or “making” art.  However, there is also the art of living, which is all-encompassing.

LIttle talks with myself in moments of why? are very important.  I expect most of us have these dialogs.  Our inner voices need to be heard, and sometimes the only one who can provide an answer is the voice within, from whatever it is derived.  Perspective helps; hindsight aids.

So, to answer my own question:  The value of the time I spend developing pictures is the value I place on it.  When it pales in value, my focus needs to change to something more satisfying.  Yes, life’s little chores need attending, but they are part of daily rhythms.  Questions like this may also allude to dissatisfaction with solitary activities, or one kind of activity, or sitting rather than being outdoors hiking or gardening or seeing new things or meeting up with friends and family.

Regroup, rethink, and move on!